Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
