so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize