we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
