yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
