me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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