She said her name was "party"
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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