BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
