Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
