you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
