shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize