pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
