I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
