never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
