nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
