he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize
