Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
