Bisexual people are plain selfish.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
