@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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