He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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