allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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