Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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