So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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