Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I am mentally ready for anal.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
