OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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