Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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