Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize