Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize