that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Did I show you my penis last night?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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