I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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