I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
