There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize