Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
