so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
cat food counts as protein by the way
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
