just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize