She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
