Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
she told me i tasted like america
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
