my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
