youre lurking in front of me
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
