you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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