all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
