Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I bet he comes in French.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
