I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Randomize
