One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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