I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
