I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize