Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Boobs speak an international language.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
