we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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