Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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