my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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