Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
