Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
