her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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