im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
