That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
