This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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