But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
