I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
