I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
