Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
