i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
