there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
