well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
