I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
