I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
