Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
