No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
