PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
