I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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