you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize